Archive for 'Relationship'
How to maintain better relationship between Couples
Posted on 24. Dec, 2009 by admin.
Keeping intimate relationship alive requires strength, motivation, and a little something called love.
We are guilty of basing our romantic beliefs on fairytales.
The problem with happily ever after is there’s more to ever after than meets the eye. To hold on to Prince Charming, Snow White has to be willing to do more than sing with the bluebirds.
If you are willing to put forth the effort to keep your relationship alive, then developing the following seven habits will help you become one of those highly successful couples.
HABIT #1 – GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE
Your goal in the relationship is to give each other pleasure, not to cause pain. Simple, isn’t it?
However… for just a single day, become consciously aware of everything you do, by asking yourself the question, “Is what I’m about to do or say going to cause my partner pain or pleasure?”
To help you, each of you should make two lists: one for all the things your partner does that hurt you, and another for all that you’d like your partner to do to give you pleasure.
Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more guessing!
HABIT #2 – CREATE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS
We fall in love through rituals of connection and intimacy such as romantic dinners, long conversations, riding bicycles or going for walks, exchanging gifts, talking every night on the telephone…
When we fall in love our relationship becomes the center point of our life, with anything else becoming secondary.
Over time, when the relationship becomes more settled (particularly after we have children), this process reverses.
The children, our work, our hobbies, our friends – take the center stage and the relationship being relegated to the background tending only to receive our attention in times of crisis.
The remedy to routine (the main cause of dull relationships) is connection and intimacy rituals.
For example, every Saturday evening, as a changeover from the working week into the weekend, take two hours together when you put a “do not disturb” sign on your busy life.
No phones, no answered doors, no e-mails, no TV, nothing…
Just the two of you and your relationship.
Do what you will with the time, however it must be an investment in your relationship.
HABIT #3 – CREATE A SAFE SPACE FOR OPEN AND HONEST SHARING
Create a sense of safety and acceptance that allows each of you to express your feelings, problems, expectations and disappointments.
One of our connection rituals is a process called “Clearing” that creates this atmosphere of safety and acceptance.
EVERY NIGHT before we go to sleep, we ask each other “what DID NOT work for you today?”
We give each other a chance to share about all the things that went “wrong” during the day (whether connected to the relationship or not).
If there are any solutions that we can mutually agree upon to assist with improvements for the future, we raise the issue.
When both of us are complete, we initiate a second round, in which we ask each other “what DID work for you today?”
This is our opportunity to share about all the goodness that we’ve experienced during the day, as well as acknowledge each other (and others) for the support and love we’ve received.
HABIT #4 – WORK TOGETHER TO RESOLVE CONFLICT AND CRISIS
The problem with the way most couples argue is that they attempt to find solutions before allowing each other the chance to say what they need to say.
The “Council” process ensures that before you engage in solution talk, each one of you feels you have been fully heard.
Here’s how it can be made to work in the practice:
One person holds an object in their hand, called the “Talking Piece”, which symbolizes that he or she has the floor.
While one person has the floor, the other person is allowed only to listen without interruption.
When speaking, you should focus on speaking from your heart (emotional, spontaneous, instinctive as opposed to mental).
When listening, you are encouraged to listen from your heart (i.e. from acceptance and compassion).
Only after each person has been fully “heard,” (in case it is still necessary) continue through to the process of problem solving.
HABIT #5 – TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY
When you pass your lover during the course of a day, do you stop and rub their shoulder, give them a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in their ear – or do you just walk on by?
This is the meaning of “turning toward” as opposed to “turning away.”
Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.
Make sure to find ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other, such as doing things together that you both enjoy. Take walks together, drink coffee together after dinner, listen to music together…
HABIT #6 – SCHEDULE TIME FOR LOVE
Want to improve your sex life? Here’s one of the most profound pieces of advice I can give you: SCHEDULE IT!
Doesn’t sound very romantic, I know. But it works.
Waiting for that “magic moment” when you’re both “in the mood” may be romantic, but it’s not always practical. We all have had times when we were waiting and waiting and… waiting.
Plan in the morning to make love that night. Call each other all day long with reminders, ideas and seductive suggestions.
By the time evening rolls around you’ll both feel like you’ve engaged in foreplay all day long – and you’ll be ready for an exciting night!
HABIT #7 – CREATE MEANING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Think about it, besides having fun, what else would you like to do together in the coming 40 years?
We all need meaning in our lives.
You will enrich your relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose.
This is why couples who choose a path of personal-growth or spirituality together, have great source of meaning in their lives.
When you practice these seven habits intentionally and consistently, you’ll re-create every day a loving, fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.
It’s easy – give it a try…
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How to Make your day count
Posted on 20. May, 2009 by admin.
Pray to God:
You may or may not believe in god, but I am a strong believer. Every morning I get up, I thank god for keeping me healthy so far. Pray for your friends and family and end the prayer with asking for a successful day. Praying installs a confidence into us. At the back of mind, we have thought running that God will take care of the day and the day will be a great one.
Work it out :
A 30 minutes work out a day is enough to keep you away from most of the health related diseases. Dedicate minimum of 30 minutes for daily work outs. These workout will prepare the body for the days stress and also make you feel more energetic and confident to take on with your tasks. If you are thinking of joining a gym
, these tips will help you get started. Make sure you exercise before having your breakfast. If you are not comfortable doing workouts, you can opt for yoga.
Plan your day :
It is very important to plan your day ahead. In your mind browse through all the pending work left or any new work which you are going to take out and also plan on how to it finish off. Planning ahead will give you an extra edge over your competitors. Some of the common points can be
- What time I am supposed to reach my office/school.
- How do I commute? Is my vehicle in fine condition ?
- Do I have to meet/call anyone before going to office/school ?
- Do I have to pay any pending bills etc?
- Is there any pending work left at office/school ?
- What could be the possible work which I would have to do at office/school.?
- Do I have any appointment with doctor/layer/client etc ?
- What time work will get over and I will be back home.
- Is there any evening party ? Or are you expecting any friends or relative?
- Anything which I missed ?
You can even write it down and keep it as a to-do list for each day. Some people have the habit of writing diaries to record there daily schedules. It may take some extra time, but it will make sure you wont miss anything.
All these tasks are important to prepare us for the day’s work. At the end of the day, evaluate what you could or couldn’t do. Try it for a week, and you will start seeing amazing results in your day to day life. Have a great day.
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Tips To get out of Broken Relationship
Posted on 20. May, 2009 by admin.
It can be a very painful experience for the person who has just come out of a broken relation. There can be several reasons that can lead to a broken relation, but the fate at the end of it are broken hearts. Mending a broken heart can be very difficult, requires lots of inner strength and lots of care from your near and dear ones. Some people who can’t find support from near ones usually turn to alcohol which can only do more harm than
Relationhip Break
In this post I will try to give 5 tips that will surely help you out in someway to come out of this stressful situation.
1) Erasing their memory
Erasing there memory can help speed up the healing process, every time we see there picture or the gifts they gave it reminds of all those bitter moments which we really want to forget. Remove his/her picture from the wallet/album and give it to someone else who can keep them safely untill you want them back. The question that might be raising in your mind is why would you want it back anyways ? The possible answer to this question can be, just because you had few bitter moments doesn’t mean you should forget those precious better moments that you had. Never ever distroy those memories as you may regret it later when you need them.
2) Alter you schedule
Make an abrupt change to your schedule, this will help you to forget his/her quickly. If we still follow the same schedule you will tend to remember him/her at a particular point of time for eg. when he/she used to call. Plan your schedule in such a way that you are keeping yourself busy at that point of time. Avoid the places where you people used to meet and spend time.
3) Get busy / Get a new hobby
A famous saying says ” An idle mind is a devils playground “. So based on this principal get yourself a new hobby. A hobby can really get you busy and make you feel better. A creative mind is far away from all stress and pain. The hobby you choose can be of your choice, some of the hobbies can be painting, gardening, collecting, photography etc. I would highly recommend gardening compared to other hobbies because it can really make you busy and nothing feels better than connecting to the nature.
4) Go out connect with friends
It is really important to connect to friends when you are broken from inside. Connecting to friends will help ease your pain. Share your pain with your friends and they will surely help you get out of it. Try to be in someone’s company at all time. This will keep you away from your ex partner’s thought. If you are one of those who doesnt like to go out much, you can make new friends via Social Networking websites like Orkut, Facebook, MySpace, etc.
5) Apply these Tips
You are really not helping yourself, if you are not applying the above said tips to your practical life. For applying these tips, you must first prepare yourself to come out of this situation. Once you have decided you are coming out of this situation, stick to it and soon you will realize you are back to normal kicking ass! Just imagine yourself how you were before this relation started. Just be yourself for no one can/should change you!!
Always remember there is always another day, another hope, another love!
After this post if I was able to mend one broken heart, I think I have done my job.
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How to win friends
Posted on 12. Apr, 2009 by admin.
If you are looking for an e-book of How to Win Friends and Influence People, you can find the book from several different places online. You can download the book immediately or print the book from PDF form, if you like. Below are four different places online where you can obtain the e-book for How to Win Friends and Influence People:
* An e-book of How to Win Friends and Influence People is available online at Ebooks.com.
* You can obtain this e-book in PDF format at Tradebit.com.
* The e-book of this popular book can be purchased at Ebookmall.com online.
* Amazon.com offers a service for making How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie an e-book.
There are many other resources online for purchasing How to Win Friends and Influence People in e-book form. These were four of the top searches found online, so going with the first few top choices might be a good idea when purchasing this popular book in e-book form. Otherwise, it may take quite some time to go through all the choices that you are offered when you search for this e-book online.
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How to balance work and personal life together
Posted on 01. Apr, 2009 by admin.
The expression “work-life balance” was first introduced in 1970s for describing the balance between an individual’s work and professional life. According to a survey conducted by the National Life Insurance Co., four out of ten employees state that their jobs are “very” or “extremely” stressful. The study also reflects that women face greater pressures, related top conflict between work and family.
It is therefore, very important to create balance between your work life and your family/personal life. Without that balance, you will experience high levels of stress, burn out, and potentially miss out on great times in your life. Balancing work and personal never easy but you need to do it any cost!
Firstly, it is very important for you to determine what matters the most in your life. Getting your priorities clear is the first and most essential step toward achieving a well-balanced life. By making a concrete list of what really matters to you, you may discover you’re devoting too much time to activities that aren’t a priority, and you can adjust your schedule accordingly.
Think twice before skipping out on a parent-teacher conference or a doctor’s appointment. Your private time deserves the same respect. Guard this personal time fervently and don’t let work or other distractions intrude. Stop checking email and cell phones so often. Protecting your private time often leads to “greater satisfaction in both work life and personal life, greater productivity, and more creativity.”
Fu and relaxation are also essential parts of leading a good life! Try to take out time for weekly guitar sessions, a yoga class, a date night with your wife or a guys/ girls’ night out! There is a very good saying that, “you make time for what you want to make time for”. You are in charge of your own schedule, so it’s up to you to make time.
So, balance your family and work for having a cool life!
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Best Man Speech
Posted on 01. Apr, 2009 by admin.
You are in a position of honor. Your close friend is assuming the position and he needs your help. He has asked you to be his “best man”, to stand by his side and support him through his last act as a free man. You relish your thoughts of all the fun aspects of your job; you get to help coordinate a stag party, ok, so maybe that’s the extent of the fun parts. Still you want to help your old buddy make as cool and smooth transition to the other side as possible; you want to be the best best man you can be. You’re going to have to make a speech, a verbal representation of good times past, current times observed in a promising light, and words of ominous wisdom pertaining to the future of the newly linked couple.
Let’s break this speech thing down into some workable components. You need to first embrace the fact that as the deliverer of a speech, you need to project not only your voice, but others projectiles like enthusiasm, positivism, confidence, and an entertaining sense of composure. I know it sounds like a lot. Don’t worry; we have a plan to bring you through to the successful side of this speech writing/delivery.
The most important component of your speech is not the words you choose to deliver, it is how you present them to your audience. Think about it, you know that the last thing that they want to endure is a long winded, non-personally relevant, over-mushy, big bag of wind. They want entertainment. They want lighthearted laughter. They want it to be over relatively soon so that the celebration can continue. So there is your first lesson. In a nutshell: Be confident; speak up; smile a lot; don’t belabor your points. These aspects of delivery will make even a poorly written speech flow easier thereby enhancing the undercurrent of the whole ceremony.
You are going to need to at least write a flowchart to have in front of your eyes to keep you on task. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’ll be able to fake your way through it. Most people are not fluent public speakers. This has nothing to do with you; it’s just that public speaking, sometimes especially in front of friends and acquaintances who you would think you’d be at ease in front of, makes people nervous. Without some notes for reference, speechmakers commonly will draw a blank at the crucial moment of deliverance. Although the friendly crowd won’t judge you for a poor performance, in retrospect you will wish that you had shined when the focus was on you. You will want to flow like a pro, making all wonder how you pulled off such an orchestrated masterpiece.
As for the content, that is where you are the expert already. Remember that you got this job because of your knowledge. You know the groom. You probably know him better than his new wife (mostly), especially if you have been friends for an extended period of time. Use your knowledge to bring out the lighter side of life. Keep topics non-offensive and lighthearted for the most part. It is expected and would be a letdown to the crowd if you did not do at least a little grilling. Poke some borderline, yet still clean, fun at the groom and whoever else may be present as a target of your room-captivating speech. Spontaneity is a beautiful thing as well. If you draw a blank, just take a breath and tell a little story that nobody but you and the groom would know. The audience will appreciate being made to feel like insiders, and you will be remembered as the best man who knew how to lay it down like a breeze through the trees. Salute!
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